It’s Really Not Personal
I am a professionally trained educator, so I recognize that I have a tendency to see things from that perspective. Sometimes that ends up leading to interesting insights. As I was reading the article, “Throw-Away Children,” by Julia Dahl, this quote stood out:
Statistics suggest that the huge investment is failing those most in need of help. In New York State, for example, a longitudinal study beginning in the early 1990s found that 85 percent of boys and 65 percent of girls who are incarcerated go on to be convicted of a felony as adults, according to Gladys Carrión, Commissioner of New York State’s Office of Children and Family Services. Seventy percent of adult prisoners in California were once in foster care.
According to Carrión, the system allows these these young people to be treated like “throw-aways.”
“We obviously don’t value them,” she charges. “We incarcerate them and these are their lives’ future outcomes.”
I see beneath the circumstances being described a very real human tendency to make the unacceptable behavior of others personal. That, I argue, is a fundamental factor to the problem.
In the context of the school, this tendency is one that even experienced educators must guard against. It is very easy to move past condemnation of a problem behavior to condemnation of a child as a problem child. When the educator does that, the censure that should be directed only at the behavior is personalized onto the child, and she is further alienated from the approved social structure of the classroom. It is not surprising that this only exacerbates the situation as the child internalizes the condemnation and exhibits more problem behavior.
The same thing happens in society with the juvenile justice system. It happens on the local level with law enforcement personnel and even with citizens. I frequently hear my neighbors talking about which kid was just released from juvenile detention and is back on the streets or discussing which kid was the likely perpetrator of a recent break-in or car theft. These types of conversations are not inherently wrong, but they often reflect that we have made things personal.
On a social level, we make it personal anytime we talk about, “those people,” filling in whatever descriptors fit your concept of those people. They are the people we cross the street to avoid, even though we have never met them as individuals. We have made things personal.
It’s not acceptable to do this with adults; doing it to children is morally wrong. They are kids. It’s our responsibility as a society to guide them and help them achieve the same kind of life that we would want to live.
Your thoughts?
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